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Dear Weather,
What the fuck-isn't this supposed to be fall? What's with the bitter cold? If I wanted it to be winter I'd be in another hemisphere right now. So quit with all the 40 degree nights already.
You're on fucking notice.
AnonyB.tch
Sunday, October 4, 2009
Sunday, September 27, 2009
Stop it. For Realz.
Dear Annoying Friend/Relative/Drunk Acquaintance,
Do you have any fucking idea what time it is? I don't care if you have something uber important to tell me, if everyone's still breathing it can wait until the fucking morning. What kind of jerk off calls a person at 2am to discuss where to go at lunch tomorrow?!
At this point, you can go to hell as far as I'm concerned.
Your baby won't stop crying....UM hello, I didn't impregnate you so why do I have to suffer?
Now can I please get some Peace N Fucking Quiet?!?!
Kthxbai
AnonyB.tch
Do you have any fucking idea what time it is? I don't care if you have something uber important to tell me, if everyone's still breathing it can wait until the fucking morning. What kind of jerk off calls a person at 2am to discuss where to go at lunch tomorrow?!
At this point, you can go to hell as far as I'm concerned.
Your baby won't stop crying....UM hello, I didn't impregnate you so why do I have to suffer?
Now can I please get some Peace N Fucking Quiet?!?!
Kthxbai
AnonyB.tch
Tuesday, September 22, 2009
Nazis Love Babies
Dear Pro Life Jerk Hole,
I know you don't give a shit about me, and that's cool because I don't give a shit about you. But for the love of Jesus Christ (you remember him) stay the fuck away from my body. If you want to procreate until you fucking die do it (and be quick about it), but not everyone on earth has to feel your pain or give birth to be a good person.
I give to charity. I help at women and children's shelters. I put my dime in the box at the grocery store to support victims of abuse and I give school supplies to foster kids. I am a damn good human being.
You on the other hand are dickwads.
AnonyB.tch
I know you don't give a shit about me, and that's cool because I don't give a shit about you. But for the love of Jesus Christ (you remember him) stay the fuck away from my body. If you want to procreate until you fucking die do it (and be quick about it), but not everyone on earth has to feel your pain or give birth to be a good person.
I give to charity. I help at women and children's shelters. I put my dime in the box at the grocery store to support victims of abuse and I give school supplies to foster kids. I am a damn good human being.
You on the other hand are dickwads.
AnonyB.tch
Wednesday, September 16, 2009
You Know You Want It
Dear Chicken Enchilada,
I want to smother myself in your tasty Mexican goodness, but I will settle for eating you slowly and savoring every bite.
MMMMMMMMMMMMMM
AnonyB.tch
I want to smother myself in your tasty Mexican goodness, but I will settle for eating you slowly and savoring every bite.
MMMMMMMMMMMMMM
AnonyB.tch
Tuesday, September 15, 2009
Douche Bag, You Have a Call on Line 2
Dear Dr. Feeley,
I don't know how they did it in the 1700s, but nowdays it's un-FUCKING-cool to slobber over, make lewd insinuations about, or otherwise man handle your staff. Cause for one-you're ancient and smell like a dead skunk. Not to mention it's against the law.
So next time you get a hankering gramps, grab a hanky and do it in the can.
Totally Disgusted,
AnonyB.tch
I don't know how they did it in the 1700s, but nowdays it's un-FUCKING-cool to slobber over, make lewd insinuations about, or otherwise man handle your staff. Cause for one-you're ancient and smell like a dead skunk. Not to mention it's against the law.
So next time you get a hankering gramps, grab a hanky and do it in the can.
Totally Disgusted,
AnonyB.tch
Monday, September 14, 2009
Altogether Now
Dear Minivan Mom,
Look I know it's vital that you deliver your spawns hither and yon, but do you have to drive with your head up your ass? Really. I'm asking. Did you take a fucking stupid pill or what, lady? Since when is it okay to drive 70, swerve into another lane with no blinker, and then slam on your breaks? Do you secretly hate your kids or something...because I'm betting they secretly hate you.
Or at least they will when they get their chiropractor bill in about 20 years.
Remove Head From Sphincter, Then Drive,
AnonyB.tch
Look I know it's vital that you deliver your spawns hither and yon, but do you have to drive with your head up your ass? Really. I'm asking. Did you take a fucking stupid pill or what, lady? Since when is it okay to drive 70, swerve into another lane with no blinker, and then slam on your breaks? Do you secretly hate your kids or something...because I'm betting they secretly hate you.
Or at least they will when they get their chiropractor bill in about 20 years.
Remove Head From Sphincter, Then Drive,
AnonyB.tch
Tuesday, September 8, 2009
I Am In LOVE
Dear Black Knee High Boots,
You are the shit. I am already a sexy piece of ass, but when I put you on I am rocking this whole town. You go with jeans, you go with skirts, you go with dresses, all the while making my legs look delish and my ass look like a million bucks. Is there nothing you can't do?
Your Lover,
AnonyB.tch
You are the shit. I am already a sexy piece of ass, but when I put you on I am rocking this whole town. You go with jeans, you go with skirts, you go with dresses, all the while making my legs look delish and my ass look like a million bucks. Is there nothing you can't do?
Your Lover,
AnonyB.tch
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