Altogether Now

Dear Minivan Mom,

Look I know it's vital that you deliver your spawns hither and yon, but do you have to drive with your head up your ass? Really. I'm asking. Did you take a fucking stupid pill or what, lady? Since when is it okay to drive 70, swerve into another lane with no blinker, and then slam on your breaks? Do you secretly hate your kids or something...because I'm betting they secretly hate you.

Or at least they will when they get their chiropractor bill in about 20 years.

Remove Head From Sphincter, Then Drive,
AnonyB.tch