Cry About It, Hipster

Dear Dude in the Skinny Jeans,

You sir are not attractive. Dude looks like a lady. And not a very attractive one at that. I know you think your scarf makes a statement, and let me tell you it soooo does. That statement which it screams from it's home on your sweaty neck is "I'm a pretentious jack ass"....because it takes a dick of epic proportions to wear a scarf when it's 85* outside.

And if I have to hear one more thing about your octo-lavo-vegan diet I'm going to puke my steak in your mouth. For realz. I don't care if you are a level 10 vegan Obi Wan, I don't want to hear about it for 30 minutes while I'm standing behind you on my lunch break.

Oh. And one last thing-YOUR MUSIC SUCKS ASS.

That's right, I said it. Bring it, biatch.
AnonyB.tch